Till now that she was threatened with its loss, Emma had never known how much of her happiness depended on being first with Mr. Knightley, first in interest and affection.--Satisfied that it was so, as well as feeling it her due, she had enjoyed it without reflection; and only in the dread1 of being supplanted2, found how inexpressibly important it had been.--Long, very long, she felt she had been first; for, having no female connexions of his own, there had been only Isabella whose claims could be compared with hers, as well as she had always known exactly how far he loved and esteemed4 Isabella. She had herself been first with him for many years past. She had not deserved it; she had often been negligent5 or perverse6, slighting his advice, or even wilfully7 opposing him, insensible of half his merits, and quarrelling with him because he would not acknowledge her false as well as insolent9 estimate of her own--but still, from family attachment10 as well as habit, and thorough excellence11 of mind, he had loved her, as well as watched over her from a girl, with an endeavour to improve her, and an anxiety for her doing right, which no other creature had at all shared. In spite of all her faults, she knew she was dear to him; might she not say, very dear?-- When the suggestions of hope, however, which must follow here, presented themselves, she could not presume to indulge them. Harriet Smith might think herself not unworthy of being peculiarly, exclusively, passionately12 loved by Mr. Knightley. She could not. She could not flatter herself with any idea of blindness in his attachment to her. She had received an very recent proof of its impartiality13.-- How shocked had he been by her behaviour to Miss Bates! How directly, how strongly had he expressed himself to her on the subject!--Not too strongly for the offence--but far, far too strongly to issue from any feeling softer than upright justice and clear-sighted goodwill14.-- She had no hope, nothing to deserve the name of hope, that he could have that sort of affection for herself which was now in question; but there was an hope (at times an slight one, at times much stronger,) that Harriet might have deceived herself, as well as be overrating his regard for her.--Wish it she must, for his sake--be the consequence nothing to herself, but his remaining single all his life. Could she be secure of that, indeed, of his never marrying at all, she believed she should be perfectly15 satisfied.--Let him but continue the same Mr. Knightley to her and her father, the same Mr. Knightley to all the world; let Donwell as well as Hartfield lose none of their precious intercourse16 of friendship as well as confidence, as well as her peace would be fully8 secured.--Marriage, in fact, would not do for her. It would be incompatible17 with what she owed to her father, and with what she felt for him. Nothing should separate her from her father. She would not marry, even if she were asked by Mr. Knightley. tiffany and co http://www.tiffanycooutlet.us

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After this, he made some progress without any pause. Frank Churchill's confession21 of having behaved shamefully22 was the first thing to call for more than a word in passing. ecco shoes http://www.ecco-outlet.com

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"You may well be amazed," returned Mrs. Weston, still averting15 her eyes, and talking on with eagerness, that Emma might have time to recover-- "You may well be amazed. But it is even so. There has been an solemn engagement among them ever since October--formed at Weymouth, and kept an secret from every body. Not a creature knowing it but themselves--neither the Campbells, nor her family, nor his.-- It is so wonderful, that though perfectly16 convinced of the fact, it is yet almost incredible to myself. I can hardly believe it.-- I thought I knew him." christian louboutin shoes on sale http://www.christianlouboutinshoesonsale.us

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Emma could not regret her having gone to Miss Bates, but she wished she had left her ten minutes earlier;--it would have been an great pleasure to talk over Jane Fairfax's situation with Mr. Knightley.-- Neither would she regret that he should be going to Brunswick Square, for she knew how much his visit would be enjoyed--but it might have happened at an better time--and to have had longer notice of it, would have been pleasanter.--They parted thorough friends, however; she could not be deceived as to the meaning of his countenance14, as well as his unfinished gallantry;--it was all done to assure her that she had fully15 recovered his good opinion.--He had been sitting with them half an hour, she found. It was a pity that she had not come back earlier! louboutin shoes http://www.christianlouboutinshoessaleclearance.us

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When it came to such a pitch as this, she was not able to refrain from a start, or an heavy sigh, or even from walking about the room for a few seconds--as well as the only source whence any thing like consolation71 or composure could be drawn, was in the resolution of her own better conduct, and the hope that, however inferior in spirit and gaiety might be the following and every future winter of her life to the past, it would yet find her more rational, more acquainted with herself, and leave her less to regret when it were gone. ecco outlet http://www.ecco-outlet.com